


don't say it (i love you)

by rosegoldsufjan



Series: blissfully happy [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Boys In Love, Character Death, Dating, Domestic, Kissing, M/M, Nothing major though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 03:51:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1330882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldsufjan/pseuds/rosegoldsufjan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian says 'I love you' seven times before Mickey says it back.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>Sort of prequel to The Ring, but you don't have to read that first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't say it (i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this quite late at night and it probably has a lot of grammar and spelling errors. I'll fix them tomorrow. Also, this is dedicated to Catalina for telling me to get my shit together and just finish writing this. I appreciated that, Catalina.
> 
> Most of this is just dialogue.

Ian said 'I love you' seven times before Mickey ever said it back.

The first time Ian said it, he had just been in New York for a few days. He had spent those trying to familiarize himself with Mickey's tiny, silent apartment. He didn't feel uncomfortable in it, per say, but he did miss the noise and chaos that came with living in the Gallagher house for years. Also, Mickey wasn't much for conversation.  
Ian knew that the fact that Mickey was letting him, no, wanted him to move into his apartment was huge. He also knew that that was the reason that Mickey had been acting paranoid. Well, more than usual.

Mickey hadn't really left the apartment the past few days. Unless it was for work. He had also been freaking out at Ian and all of his stuff being there. He keeps expecting his father to burst in and kill them both for being faggots. Even if it's not that likely to happen since Terry had no idea where Mickey was. When Mickey decided to leave the South Side, he didn't half ass it, he wasn't an idiot about it, either. He made sure no one could follow him without Mickey wanting them to.

He even took some time to sort some of his shit out before making any sort of contact with Ian. Six and a half months passed before Mickey picked up the payphone from across the street and dialed the familiar number. 

"...Hello?" Mickey heard Ian's groggy, sleepy voice.

"Gallagher."

"Mickey?" Ian asked, a bit more loudly than Mickey preferred.

"Shhh. I don't want the whole fucking neighborhood knowing that I'm calling." Mickey said.

"Where are you?" Ian asked.

"That's not important."

"What? Of course, it's important. Mandy's really worrie-"

"Don't tell Mandy I called." Mickey said, cutting Ian off.

"Why not?" Ian asked.

"Just don't. Can you do that for me?" Mickey asked, covering his eyes with his free hand.

A few seconds of silence passed.

"Okay."

"Good."

More silence.

"I miss you." Ian broke the silence.

"Yeah." Mickey responded, kicking some rocks.

"Are you alright?" Ian asked, sounding worried.

"I'm fine."

Ian sighed heavily, "Why did you call me?"

"Just wanted to talk."

A minute of silence passed. 

"Are you ever coming back?"

"I miss you, too."

They said it at the same time.

"What did you say?" Mickey could almost hear the smile on Ian's lips.

"Shut up. I'm not gonna say it twice."

"Mickey-"

"I have to go." Mickey said before hanging up.

\---

Months of hushed phone conversations passed. At first, Mickey only ever called once in two weeks, maybe three. Then, it changed to three every two weeks. It kept changing until they talked a few times every week. After a few months of this, he finally grew the balls to tell Ian where he was. He told him about his apartment. He told him where he worked and about his neighbors.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Ian asked.

"Because I'm about to ask a really stupid question and I need you to know all this shit before doing it." Mickey responded.

"What?"

"Do you want to come here and live with me?" Mickey's face scrunched up as he was saying this.

"Are you serious?"

"Does it sound like I'm kidding?" Mickey said, harshly.

"When?"

"In about two months." 

"Let me think about it." Ian said.

"Yeah, okay. Whate-"

"Yes. I'll do it." Ian interrupted Mickey.

"Good." Mickey said, nodding. "Well, bye."

\---

A year had passed since Mickey left Chicago. A year since Mickey had last spoken with Mandy. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he missed Mandy. He missed spending time with her even if she annoyed him at times. He knew that she was good because Ian insisted on telling him all about Mandy at the start of their conversations. 

It was late and Mickey couldn't sleep. He stood up, took a coat and left the apartment. He stood in front of the payphone. His finger hovered around the first number before pressing it. He shook his head and waited for someone to answer.

"Who the fuck is this?" Mandy asked.

"I'm not dead."

"Wha-? Mickey?"

Mickey hung up and ran his thumb through his bottom lip. He shook his head and headed back inside.

He slept well after that.

\---

Ian was finished putting his clothes in Mickey's room. Their room. Ian smiled at the thought.

Mickey was on the bed, fast asleep. He seemed peaceful, which is something that Ian hadn't seen for a year. Ian's smile grew as he moved to the other side of the bed. Mickey's body was taking all the space of the bed. Ian moved one of his arms away and laid down. He ran his fingers through Mickey's arm lightly. He leaned in and kissed his shoulder.

"I love you." Ian whispered.

\---

The second time Ian says it, nothing really big happened.

It had been a few weeks since Ian had moved in and things weren't as awkward. Mickey had loosen up a bit and wasn't looking over his shoulder every two minutes.

Things had been going great. Sure, they fought. But what couple doesn't fight? Ian thought of the word. 

Couple.

Is that what they were now? Mickey and him had never really had a conversation about labels. Sure, they lived together, didn't fuck anyone else and acted pretty couple-y, but he still wanted to hear it from Mickey. Still, that conversation wasn't for today. 

Today was one of those magical days where neither had to do anything. They were just being lazy around the apartment. Right now, Mickey was taking up all the couch, eyes half-closed. He was watching a weird, random movie on their T.V. Ian was sitting on the floor, eating lunch.

"Hey." Mickey said.

"What?"

"Give me some." Mickey said, nodding at the food.

Ian handed the plate to Mickey and looked at him as he ate. Ian smiled at how domestic they had become.

"The fuck you smiling at?" Mickey asked, looking at Ian.

"I love you." 

Mickey looked away from him. Ian would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit hurt by this, but it didn't really matter. He didn't say it to hear it back.

Ian stood up and gave Mickey a quick peck on the lips. He started walking away.

"Where are you goin'?" Mickey asked.

"I'm gonna take a shower. You're welcome to join." Ian said as a shit-eating grin settled on his lips.

\---

The third time Ian says 'I love you', Mickey had just had a nightmare.

Since Mickey had first moved to New York, sleeping had become harder. Some nights went smoothly and he dreamed of nothing. Others were like being in hell. His dreams filled with things that he didn't feel like reliving or remembering.

When Ian moved in with him, nothing really changed. Just because he had someone sleeping next to him didn't mean that his nightmares would magically go away. 

The first time Ian saw one was a two months after living with Mickey. It was fairly late and Ian was jolted awake by a punch on the stomach. Now, Mickey was one of those people who stayed still while they slept so Ian was worried. He sat up and stared down at his boyfriend. Mickey was obviously not happy with whatever was happening in his dreams.

"Mick," Ian whispered. "Mickey, wake up." 

Mickey groaned, but didn't wake up.

"Come on." Ian shook Mickey's shoulder. "Wake up, Mick."

Mickey groaned again, but woke up. He blinked several times before looking at Ian.

"Did I wake you up?" Mickey asked.

"Yeah."

"Sorry." Mickey said, running the back of his hand through his eyes.

" 'S fine." Ian said. "You okay?"

Mickey nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Mickey shook his head.

"Wanna fuck?"

Mickey chuckled slightly, "No. Let's just try to get back to sleep."

Mickey laid on his side, his back facing Ian's chest. Ian buried his face in Mickey's neck and pressed a small kiss on it. He put his arm around Mickey and felt him relax a bit.

"I love you." Ian whispered into the crook of Mickey's neck.

Mickey closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

\---

A year had come and gone since Ian had moved in. They had gone out to celebrate (Ian's idea) and had gotten drunk. Ian more than Mickey. He was now being held upright by Mickey, which felt awkward due to Ian's height.

"You weren't joking when you said you wanted to get trashed tonight." Mickey said.

Ian laughed loudly. 

"Come on. Just a few more minutes." Mickey said.

"I'm tired." Ian responded.

"You can sleep when we get to the apartment." Mickey said, pulling Ian closer to his side s he wouldn't run off. (It has happened before. Many times.)

"Let's go sit for a while." Ian said, walking towards a bench.

"Ian." Mickey said as he walked after him. Ian sat down and patted the bench. Mickey sighed and sat down next to him.

Ian grinned at Mickey and let his head fall off to the side. Ian poked Mickey on the arm and leaned forward.

"Wanna know something?" Ian asked.

"What?" Mickey asked.

"I love you." Ian began. "I love you so much."

"Gallagher-"

"You don't have to say it back. It's okay. I don't say it for you to say it back." Ian said, taking Mickey's hand in his. "Though, it would be nice to hear it once. Maybe some day." 

Mickey stared at Ian a few seconds before nodding. "Yeah. Maybe one day."

\---

The next day when Ian woke up with a pounding in his head and a sour taste in his mouth, Mickey was sitting on the edge of the bed with a cup of coffee.

"Here." Mickey said handing him the cup and some Advil.

"Thanks." 

Mickey grunted in response and laid back next to Ian. Mickey threw an arm over his eyes. Ian looked down on him. A thought that had been starting to form for a few months came back to him. He knew he shouldn't say anything, but the words came out anyway.

"Marry me."

Mickey slowly removed his arm from his eyes.

"What?" 

"Marry me." Ian repeated.

Mickey looked at him and shook his head. "I'm gonna go back to sleep."

\---

The next time Ian said it, they're in the middle of having sex. 

Ian's balls deep in Mickey and he's moving so painfully slow. Mickey's telling him to hurry the fuck up and move, but Ian shuts him up by sinking his teeth into Mickey's shoulder.  
Mickey's breath hitched and he bites his lip to stop any sort of embarrassing noise from coming out.

Old habits die hard.

"Fuck, Gallagher. Move." Mickey said after a few failed attempts. He had found that if he keeps the words short, they come out clearer and it's not as pathetic as when he tries to form coherent thoughts.

Apparently, Mickey had finally convinced Ian because after he's done saying that Ian moves faster.

A moan escaped Mickey before he could bite his lip to quiet down. Ian seemed to have enjoyed hearing that because he picked up the pace even more. 

Mickey comes with a moan so loud that he's sure he woke up the married couple that lives next door (No one had told him about the thin walls before moving in. He figured it out on his second day when he heard the same married couple fighting over something Mickey couldn't even be bothered to remember.) 

"I love you." It came out as a moan from Ian.

Mickey slumped down and closed his eyes. Ian rolled off Mickey and tried to catch his breath.

"Tell me when you're ready for round two." 

\---

Two and a half years had passed since Ian moved in when he got the call from Mandy.

"I know you're busy in New York and everything." Mandy began, "You don't have to come."

"I want to." Ian said.

Ian heard Mandy sigh through the phone. 

"Well, I guess I'll see you soon. Bye." Mandy said.

"Yeah. Bye." Ian responded. Ian sighed heavily and put the phone on the nightstand.

"Who was that?" Mickey asked, taking his shoes off.

"Mandy." 

"The fuck she want?" Mickey asked.

"Your dad's dead."

Mickey looked at Ian for the longest time. "Is she sure?"

Ian nodded. "They're having the funeral next week."

"Good for them."

"I'm going." Ian said.

"Why the fuck?" 

"I miss Mandy." Ian said.

Mickey shrugged and laid back.

"Do whatever you want to do, man. I don't care." Mickey said, looking at the ceiling.

"Do you want to come with me?"

Mickey snorted and shook his head. "Fuck no. Why would I want to do that?" 

"I don't know. Maybe because it's been three years since you last saw your sister?" 

"Dude, I'm tired."

"Fine." 

\---

"That was exhausting." Mandy said, rubbing her eyes.

"Tell me about it." Ian replied.

"I'm never planning a funeral again." Mandy said, opening the fridge and taking two beers out. She handed one to Ian, who gladly took it. 

"How are you?" Mandy asked.

"I'm good. How 'bout you?" He responded, taking a sip of his beer.

"I'm fine. You seeing anyone in New York?" Mandy asked.

"No."

"That sucks."

"How 'bout you and Lip?" Ian asked.

Mandy groaned. "I don't even know. It's so frustrating." 

"Yeah. That's my brother." 

Silence filled the room.

"I haven't heard from Mickey in a while." Mandy said.

Ian didn't know what to say, so he settled on nodding.

"I actually miss the asshole." Mandy smiled. "I'm worried about him."

Ian went over to Mandy and pulled her into a hug. 

"I'm sorry." Ian whispered into her ear.

"What for?" Mandy asked.

"Just everything."

\---

Ian came back to New York two days later. It was late at night and he was exhausted. He took off his coat and threw it on the couch as soon as he entered the apartment. Every light in the apartment was off and no sound could be heard. 

Mickey's probably asleep, Ian thought.

He went into the bedroom, but Mickey wasn't in there either. Ian's brows furrowed and he entered the bathroom. No Mickey. Ian rubbed his eyes and decided to check the  
kitchen. 

Mickey was sitting on the kitchen's floor holding a bottle inside of a brown bag. There were other bottles of beer on the floor next to him.

"Ian." Mickey exclaimed. "He's dead. He's finally dead."

"Are you okay?" Ian asked worried.

"Fantastic." said Mickey.

"Since when have you been down there?" Ian asked.

"I don't know. An hour. Or four." Mickey said, looking around. "I'm really happy."

"I can see that." Ian said. Mickey tried to take another gulp of his drink, but Ian took it from his hands.

"Hey!" Mickey yelled.

"Come on. Let's get you into a shower. You wreak." Ian said, grabbing Mickey by the arm.

"Never bothered you before." Mickey said.

Ian didn't respond to that and pulled Mickey into the bathroom with him. He took off Mickey's underwear and shirt and helped him into the shower. He turned on the water.

"Shit. That's cold." Mickey said.

Ian ignored Mickey and started washing him. He washed Mickey's hair and tugged at it sharply when Mickey started dozing off. Mickey tried to bat Ian's hands away, but failed  
miserably.

"Stop moving." 

After Ian said that, Mickey relaxed and let Ian do whatever he wanted. When Ian was finished, he wrapped a warm towel around Mickey and looked for some clothes to put on him.

After Ian got him dressed and into bed, Mickey started speaking once again.

"How was it?" Mickey asked.

"Eventful. Someone peed in the casket." Ian said, sitting down next to him.

Mickey chuckled. "How's Mandy?"

"She said she was fine." Ian replied. "She misses you."

"She'll get over it." Mickey said, quickly.

"Yeah, right." Ian said and moved across the bed, ready to fall asleep on his side.

"Ian." Mickey said after a few minutes.

"Yes?"

"I don't know why you even put up with me, but I'm glad you're here." Mickey said, not looking at Ian.

"I guess I do it because I love you." Ian said. "You probably think it's stupid/"

Minutes passed and Ian started thinking that maybe Mickey had fallen asleep, but 

"I don't."

\---

Ian was running around the whole apartment. Mickey was watching him from the couch with an amused expression. Ian was going to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with his family and Mandy and he had left the actual packing of clothing for the last minute.

"Have you seen my plaid shirt?" Ian asked, leaving the bedroom.

Mickey snorted. "Which one?" 

"Great. Thanks." Ian said sarcastically as he entered the bedroom once again. After a few seconds, he ran out of it again and into the bathroom.

"Jesus Christ." Mickey muttered before getting up from the comfortable spot in the couch and following Ian into the bathroom.

"You need to be more organized." Mickey said as he leaned on the door frame.

"Look who's talking." Ian said as he looked through the medicine cabinet.

"You should hurry up if you want to get there anytime soon."

"Fuck off." Ian replied. 

Mickey shrugged his shoulders and moved out of the way when Ian left the bathroom.

"You know," Ian said, loudly from another place in the apartment, "You could come with me. Make your big debut." 

"Not yet, Firecrotch." Mickey yelled back.

"Yet?" Ian started, "Wow, finally, three years and I'm making progress." 

Mickey smiled and looked at the floor.

"I'm gonna miss you." Ian said.

"It's only four days, Gallagher." Mickey replied.

"Still." Ian reappeared in front of Mickey with a full bag on his shoulder. "I'm ready."

"I suppose I'm gonna miss you too." Mickey said.

Ian grinned and leaned in to give Mickey a kiss. He intended for it to be a small peck, but soon enough, Mickey's hands were around Ian's neck and pulling him closer.

"Hey, hey. I have to leave." Ian said, pulling away. 

Mickey let out a pathetic sound, but let his hands fall to his sides. Mickey patted Ian's shoulders and pushed him.

"Go on. Don't leave the family waiting." 

Ian smiled and started walking away, "Okay. Bye. I love you."

"I love you too."

Ian stopped moving and turned around. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me." Mickey said.

Ian walked towards Mickey.

"I guess I can be a little bit late."

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was fun. The little sex scene came out pathetic. I wanted to write smut, but it kept coming out as shit so I decided to write something that's not really that explicit. 
> 
> This was also supposed to be about the 'I love you' only, but other stuff came out. I just couldn't help myself.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> amaritudos.tumblr.com


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